Tag Archives: Relationships

Love is…..

Love is participation, not possession.  

It actively reflects our flaws through the lens of acceptance, positively motivating us toward self-improvement and personal growth.  

Love is liberating, not containing.

It allows us time and space to expand to our fullest potential as individuals.  Meanwhile, it supports us when our efforts seem to have failed, and encourages us to move forward despite obstacles in our path.  After all, we are not facing them alone, anymore.

Love understands that it cannot exist without contrast.  For then, it could never be cherished.  

Love is the core of your inner most being comfortably fitting the core of someone else’s, and simply appreciating that fact.  
For this reason, love does not expect.   
Rather, love celebrates all that is.

There is no lack, no void, nothing to prove or win.  Love is not calculating, manipulative, or able to play games.  

Love is simple. 

Love just is…

Why I’m single…..for now.

I never really thought about why I was single until one day, someone asked me, and I was stuck.  I didn’t really have a simple answer.  I didn’t even really know where to start.  I just sat there, dumbfounded.  I thought to myself, “I guess I need to think about how to articulate this in case I’m asked again.”

I continued living my life as I normally do and tried to feel where a relationship would fit and what I would want in a partner and why.  It wasn’t easy.  I’m very busy and I’m also very content.  I meditated and asked the question, “why am I single?”.

After a few days of listening for the answer, this is what I realized:

​I get a lot of 5D (spiritual) assignments that require me to use my spiritual gifts to assist people, some I know and most are strangers.  It is my priority to stay in spiritual alignment regardless of who is in my life and in what capacity they are in it.  Sometimes, 3D relationships and all the pettiness that goes into dating is just a big distraction.  I believe the person for me will gravitate towards me and enhance my vibe rather than cause interference with my energetic frequency.  Most men don’t even know what I’m talking about, so they could never really support me on this journey.  Besides that, being whole and knowing that I have all I need inside of me, changes my perspective of relationships.  I have already been married and divorced.  I have two children.  I don’t feel like I’m lacking or need to pursue anything. This physical life is temporary anyway.  “The One” is a relative illusion based on where we are at any given point in our lives. For me, there are more important things to focus on…..like fulfilling my divine purpose in life and raising the vibration of this planet.  

If I ever have a King, he will be on the same mission that I am on, or at least, he will understand that every now and then I have to put on my cape and channel someone’s ancestor or transitioned loved one.  I may see him unexpectedly through my third eye and have to call him out of nowhere to deliver a message from the Divine.  He may have a thought that I hear or feel from miles away and I am instructed to help keep him on course with his Divine purpose.   This is my life.  This is what I do, with or without him in it.  He has to be willing to go deep within himself and maintain his own connection and alignment to Source, while giving me the trust, respect, and freedom to fulfill my 5D to-do list.  Obviously, I would love to support him with his own life mission and journey to ascension.  It would give me no greater pleasure than to be the Queen to my King and give him the trust, respect, and freedom to fulfill his own destiny while he does the same for me.

If he is moving through life aligned with his higher self, and I am too, not only could we manifest some amazing stuff together, it would be the most exhilarating, soul quenching relationship ever!

If it’s supposed to happen, it will.  In the meantime, I am in the avatar of my Higher Self.  Chilling…….until further notice.

Chakra Love

You say I’m beautiful, but how can you see me with only two eyes open?

You say you love me, but how can you know that when your heart space needs healing?

You say you want my body, but your sacral is unbalanced so…..

I don’t take it personal.

You say you want deep dialogue, but your overactive solar plexus​ is feeding ego-

Through your throat, causing you to emit arrogance and closed​ mindedness that I don’t want to entertain.

You think the only crown you have is the figurative hat you wear as a good man,

Which is why you don’t even really Know who I Am.

I want a love that is so deep it penetrates the depths of my soul.

I can feel him from the inside out.

He has me reaching, stretching,

Doing mental yoga trying to gain his wisdom.

He doesn’t just teach me facts, he teaches​ me much more than that.

Silent lessons too intense for words-

He helps me heal and never causes me to hurt.

Confident in himself and fully aware of his vibration,

He checks his energy at the door, so I won’t have to sage him.

He knows exactly what he needs, and he always has it on him.

He doesn’t just wear crystals and beads-

He knows how to use them.

Being balanced on our own helps us be balanced when we’re together.

The only way to go is up, as long as we follow our own procedures.

He knows my hands are like defibrillators, bringing life to all that I touch.

So he invites me to heal his soul, 

He is my Chakra Love.

The gray area.

Traditionally, we think of the following stages as it relates to dating:

1.  Courting

2. Dating

3. Going steady

4. Engaged

5. Married
In current times, we often consider  the stages of dating to be:

1. Kickin it

2. In a relationship

3. Engaged

4. Married

However, there is an entire gamut of categories that bridge the gap between “kickin it” and “in a relationship”. Some people are so driven by achieving a title of exclusivity with their person of interest,  that the gray area between “kickin it” and “being in a relationship”, is arduous and daunting to say the least.

 For those of you who often find yourself bewildered and perplexed by this elusive gray area, I have devised a range of categories to help you have peace and clarity when thinking of your situationship:

1.  Boothangishkinda – someone who is very new, yet has you intrigued with attraction and interest. It is way too early to determine whether or not they are everything they portray themselves to be. You have your guard up, but you are very hopeful.

2.  Boothangish –  someone who has been around for a little while that you are interested in, but not quite sure they are everything you would want in a relationship. You are still getting to know them and there may be something about them that gives you some reservation. You talk to them often, but not daily.

3.  Boothang – this person makes you smile and you really like him/her. You talk to them frequently and hang out with them regularly. However, you are not committed and that is very clear. You feel drawn to them, but there are some unspoken boundaries that you know you cannot cross.   For the most part, you think this person could be a very good partner in the future, and you hope that things keep going well. However, you are still getting to know him/ her so you are not one hundred percent convinced that you want to commit yet, or that he/she wants to commit to you.

Boo –   You love you some him/her! You want to see this person as much as you can.  Your face lights up and you feel butterflies whenever you’re near each other. You are eager for the day that you will be able to say he/she is your significant other.   You know that the next step is exclusivity and you hope everything stays intact so you can make it to that point.

Hopefully, you will be able to use this as a guide to understand the status of any gray area situationship you may be involved in now or in the future and therefore, act accordingly.

There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re exclusive and finding out that you are simply a boothangishkinda.

Let’s keep it in perspective, and call it what it is, not what we wish it could be


. Shall we?

​Passionate, Not Clingy.

I will give you, and only you, my undivided attention.

I will focus on you, deliberately.

I will try to learn and understand you.

I will be patient when we are on different frequencies.

I will continuously pursue my own spiritual alignment.

I will filter my emotions and avoid blaming you for “my stuff”.

I will sacrifice in order to compromise, if it’s for the best of our mutual interest.

I will express my appreciation for you.

I will learn lessons about myself and life through the experience of dealing with you.

I will try.

I will face my fears and challenge myself to overcome them.

I will enjoy the process of getting to know you.

I will take my time.

I will give you space when I feel you need it.

I will take space for myself when I know I need it.

I will honor you.

I will respect you.

I will listen to you.

I will open my heart to you.

I will not demand or expect anything of you.

I will forgive you.

I will allow you to treat me the way you want to treat me.

If I don’t like it, 
I will let you go.

The Art Of Letting Go.

How do you deal with rejection?

How do you deal with the disappointment of a hopeful romance that ends before it starts?

What about a long-term relationship that ends suddenly?

Or a marriage that dies long before it is legally terminated?

After many let downs over the course of my lifetime, I have developed a coping strategy that has helped me bounce back like a rubber band every time:

1. Detach.  

2. Release.  

3. Reflect. 

4. Learn. 

5. Align. 

6. Ascend.

1. Detach what you want to experience in an ideal relationship from being assigned to any specific person.

2. Release the ideas, desires, and any expectations you had about that particular person or relationship.  They are no longer serving your highest good.

3. Reflect on your experience within the relationship, honestly.  Don’t fluff it up to appear to be something it never was.  

4. Learn the lessons that this experience is trying to teach you about yourself.

5. Align with the Divine source energy of the Most High flowing within you.  

6. Ascend to a new level of overstanding and show appreciation for the opportunity to grow.

No one is perfect.  

We all have flaws.  

Forgive yourself for any mistakes you have made and love yourself in spite of your flaws, even if the other person didn’t.  

You are a beautiful being that was created deliberately and given an intended purpose.  

You are valuable.

You are exquisite.

Just the way you are!

Love yourself, and others will be drawn to you.

Now, simply let go….and walk away.

You cannot receive your blessings when your hands are filled with pain.

“Real Men”.

As I frequently reference the 3/5 compromise included within our Constitution while teaching my students to love and value themselves, I have to admit I become a little bothered by the phrase “Real Men” being used so loosely to describe a man that does or does not do certain things.  

The value of a man should not be predicated upon his actions.
While all men do not function as Kings, they are all most definitely, “Real Men”.  
When we use this phrase, we are insinuating, albeit indirectly and unintentionally, that there is another group of men who are not to be considered, Real.  

Real men cook.

Real men clean.

Real men provide.

Real men take care of their kids.

Real men are faithful and communicate.

This list goes on and on….

My question is, if a Real Man is defined by his actions, what happens if he becomes human and misses a beat?

What if one day he forgets to do something we consider to be the mark of a “Real Man”, and we are unable to check off the item from our long list of criterion?

Does that mean he is not, a “Real Man”? 

What if he doesn’t know how to cook, but he is willing to try?

What if he’s not in his children’s lives because his baby mama be on some bull?

What if he isn’t working because he got caught up in some poor choices when he was young and lacks education or has a record from childish mistakes that have made it difficult for him to get hired?

What if his family didn’t communicate, so he never learned how?

What if he gets tired of not measuring up to our expectations and looks for affection and understanding elsewhere?

Does that mean he isn’t a “Real Man”?

Our words are much more powerful than we realize!  

They emit an intense vibrational frequency that is invisible until it has shifted the thoughts of the recipient into action and manifested as outcomes.
When we speak love, truth, and acceptance, we can promote and reinforce the behaviors we actually want from our men.
Today, I challenge my sisters to honor our men by seeing them as they are at their core.  Build them up instead of implying they are somehow inadequate, insufficient, or in any way NOT a “Real Man”.

Instead, let’s call our our brothers “Kings”….even if they are still growing into their regal role and position.