As I frequently reference the 3/5 compromise included within our Constitution while teaching my students to love and value themselves, I have to admit I become a little bothered by the phrase “Real Men” being used so loosely to describe a man that does or does not do certain things.
The value of a man should not be predicated upon his actions.
While all men do not function as Kings, they are all most definitely, “Real Men”.
When we use this phrase, we are insinuating, albeit indirectly and unintentionally, that there is another group of men who are not to be considered, Real.
Real men cook.
Real men clean.
Real men provide.
Real men take care of their kids.
Real men are faithful and communicate.
This list goes on and on….
My question is, if a Real Man is defined by his actions, what happens if he becomes human and misses a beat?
What if one day he forgets to do something we consider to be the mark of a “Real Man”, and we are unable to check off the item from our long list of criterion?
Does that mean he is not, a “Real Man”?
What if he doesn’t know how to cook, but he is willing to try?
What if he’s not in his children’s lives because his baby mama be on some bull?
What if he isn’t working because he got caught up in some poor choices when he was young and lacks education or has a record from childish mistakes that have made it difficult for him to get hired?
What if his family didn’t communicate, so he never learned how?
What if he gets tired of not measuring up to our expectations and looks for affection and understanding elsewhere?
Does that mean he isn’t a “Real Man”?
Our words are much more powerful than we realize!
They emit an intense vibrational frequency that is invisible until it has shifted the thoughts of the recipient into action and manifested as outcomes.
When we speak love, truth, and acceptance, we can promote and reinforce the behaviors we actually want from our men.
Today, I challenge my sisters to honor our men by seeing them as they are at their core. Build them up instead of implying they are somehow inadequate, insufficient, or in any way NOT a “Real Man”.
Instead, let’s call our our brothers “Kings”….even if they are still growing into their regal role and position.