My Truth.

When I get emotional, I don’t talk. I process. I go within and examine my pain. I ask the questions, “Why am I feeling this way?” and “What is this about?”

Three of my students have been placed in foster care. They are siblings and one has been separated and placed in another city.

After learning the details of the situation, it triggered and stirred up many memories from my abusive upbringing. I remembered my interviews with judges and CPS workers. I remembered having to go see Protective Services while they photographed my injuries and bruises. I remembered going to the judge and him granting more visitation time to my father after seeing the proof of what happened to me while I was there. I remembered being threatened by my mother if I were to call CPS on what was happening in the house with her. I remembered daydreaming about being removed from the household. I remembered feeling like I had no choice but to remain silent while the social worker questioned me at school and the therapist grilled me in the evenings once or twice weekly. I remembered my mom telling me not to discuss family business with anyone at the school. I remembered my dad telling me not to tell a soul what was happening in his house. I remembered being caught between both of them and having nowhere to go for help. I remembered being the same age as my students and having to hold all of that emotion and information within my little body and keep my mouth shut.

Thinking about how their guardian could do the things that she allegedly has done, I realized that I have had some thoughts that are extremely brutal in nature. I have had them since I was a kid. I didn’t understand at the time where they were coming from, but this situation has cleared that up for me. I remembered asking my mom to put a steak knife in my throat and spin it around when I was seven. I remembered fantasizing about being told to cut the grass with scissors. Those thoughts were unexplainable and as I got older they did not stop. I learned to push the thoughts away and choose happier ones instead. I learned to make choices and decisions that were the opposite of things my dad would have done. I have become the parent that my parents never were. However, until this crisis arose, I never realized how much mental and emotional healing work I had to do in order to accomplish that feat.

It is still difficult to discuss deep feelings of vulnerability and emotion, even with people that I know love me and I can trust, but writing has always been therapeutic.

Being a teacher is hard for me because I once lived a life that is similar to the lives of the students in my classroom. Although it makes it easier for me to connect with and understand them, it makes it harder for me to support the system that employs me. For me, the gaps are so obvious. I can see clear as day where we are coming up short and why. However, who am I? In the grand scheme of things, I am no one. The decision-makers and stakeholders have no interest in what my views or opinions are. They don’t care if I’m hurting. They don’t care about keeping our kids from hurting. They only care once things have already happened and they are no longer in control. It makes them sad, but they don’t do anything different. The system remains the same…. no matter what. In many ways, I feel that my career is my new abuser. There is nothing I can say, nothing I can do, and I’m better off if I just put my head down, do what I’m told, and keep my mouth shut.

If you are in my inner circle, please don’t ever take it personal if I stop talking for a little while. It’s just the way I have learned to cope. It is the only way I know to remain safe and keep my sanity.




It cannot easily be described because it’s a mixture of two worlds. One of oppression and one of regal DNA. While many of our ancestors were kidnapped and forced into providing free labor, many others were indigenous to this land and they have simply been omitted from our history. Our motherland pillaged and raped repeatedly attempting to remove all traces of who we are and what we are capable of. Replacing our leaders and heroes with images of our oppressor. Forcing our mothers, fathers, and grandparents to brainwash us from the time we are born so that we may all live.

However, we can’t really live. We must live a suppressed life. Shaped by lies and deceit. Searching endlessly for the culture, spirituality, and identity stolen from us. We want to build and be a part of something. It’s in our DNA. But what do we want to build and what do we want to be a part of? Those are the answers that we seek so earnestly, but we are distracted by the materialism and capitalism that surrounds us. We also have more fear than we do love for one another.

Who are we? Honestly, we don’t know. Some of us have found the key. Knowing who we are has nothing to do with what we see outside of ourselves. It has everything to do with the information embedded in our DNA that can only come from Within. But our oppressor is a mighty one! The big bad wolf keeps us dangling on his puppet strings. We scramble around lost and confused bumping into each other. Fighting each other. Judging each other. And criticizing those who have found the key. We were taught not to trust each other. So we do not go to each other for guidance. We do not look to each other for support. We do not come together to create our own solutions. Although our ancestors have given us many examples of how it can be done, most of us trust our oppressor more than we trust our own-


Those that have found the key can’t stand to see us suffer. They rise up, they fight back, they take what they know was already ours. They protect our resources while also protecting our future generations. But we don’t always trust them. We were taught not to. We want to go back home. But where is Home exactly? Our DNA says one thing but history says another. And although we all stemmed from the motherland, the motherland does not claim us the way that we claim her. We were ripped and stolen from her womb, and then convinced we were outsiders. Our oppressor is so mighty that while they were convincing us that we are not connected to our motherland, they were also convincing our brothers and sisters that we are not related to them. We are the Phoenix Rising from the ashes of a world that does not want us-


It’s not a movie.
It’s not an outfit.
It’s not a designated month of the year.
It’s not a one-time occasion of raising your fist or taking a knee.

It is a daily responsibility.
It is becoming a village.
It is taking care of our own.
It is nurturing ourselves.
It is a continuous task to seek and know Self.
To search tirelessly for truth and evidence of that truth.
Reading the books that they told us we were unable to read.
Reading the books that they keep hidden from us. Challenging ourselves to read the books that may be beyond our reading level….
And then applying what we have learned.
Letting go of the mental programs that have been instilled in us since the day we entered the world.
Releasing the comfort zone that our oppressor told us was comfortable.
Venturing into unchartered territory, and going on a lifelong adventure to discover Self-


It is power.
It is strength.
It is resilience.
It is creativity.
It is artistic.
It is intellectual.
It is talented.
It is gifted.
It is love and compassion.
It is unity and camaraderie.
It is loyalty.
It is both ancient and contemporary.
Subtle and flashy.
Historical and innovative.
African and American.
It is Magic.
It is Blackness.
It is Us.

Love and Truth.


I’ve never wanted a relationship.  

I was always inspired by hermits.

I used to mail formal invites to my “break-up parties” that were held within a week of ending a relationship.

I used to have major panic attacks at weddings and bridal showers, so I stopped trying to go to them at all.  I knew people wouldn’t understand the anxiety I felt, so  I would just mail gift cards after the fact.

At weddings, when the couple recited the vows, I would see shackles and hear words of ownership being spoken. 

I had a panic attack halfway down the aisle of my own wedding and literally needed both of my parents to walk me.  They were whispering encouraging words, “Keep going.  You’re okay. “

My marriage became abusive within the first two years. 

I regretted forcing myself to do something that was clearly so unnatural for me.

I was excited to get divorced.  I didn’t have a party, but I have celebrated my freedom every day since he left. 

It’s  been four years since my divorce was final.  

I feel Whole.  Complete.  Healed.  Powerful.  Intuitive.  Devine.  Royal.  Precious.  Loveable.  Amazing. And Aligned with Spirit and Truth.

I don’t want to jeopardize any of that by adding another person to the equation who will interfere with the progress I’ve made.  

Some people can be needy.  Clingy.  Manipulative.  And unintentionally controlling.  I’m so in love with my personal growth and ascension journey, I have no interest in compromising that for the sake of a romantic relationship.  Time is an illusion and this may or may not be my last lifetime.  

Either way, I’m  enjoying my journey without a man so much that I don’t want a man if I can’t continue to grow and flourish as I have these past four years.  

I am so much better!  I want more! I am in LOVE with growing!!!  If he can’t pour into my soul, I don’t want him.  

If all he can do is focus on the physical aspects of me and things of this temporary, 3D realm, he’s not for me.  

“He” will be my King, not my student.

“He” will pour into my being, rather than deplete me.

“He” will show me with his actions that I am in great hands. 

“He” will not run from my truth.

“He” will empower me with his consistency and be patient as I allow myself to trust him.  

“He” will encourage me through his energetic vibration.

His higher self will speak to mine and say “Keep going.  You’re okay” …….

And I will believe “Him” and let myself love again. 

I won’t be “His” and “He” won’t be mine, 

We will simply just  “Be” together in love. 💖


Man meets Queen.

If you see that I’m a Queen, don’t approach me like a f*** boy.

Since you claim to be a King, then stop playing with toys.

Don’t address me as a goddess then call me b**** beneath your breath.

Trying to strip me of my confidence until there’s nothing left.

I speak life into you King, although you have yet to prove your status 

Been the realest Queen from jump,  Let me put you up on my magic

I pull the stress out your body through the soles of your feet

Hold it in my hands, close my eyes, and breathe

Lift it up unto the heavens, then I flip it around. 

Heal and transmute, then poor it back into your Crown 

Cleansing your aura, clearing out your blocks 

Got you walking ’round like a living, breathing Ankh.

Now you’re feeling like that king named Midas 

Everything you touch turns gold and you don’t know why. It’s 

Because you got a dope a** Queen on your arm 

A true goddess of light, let me put you on….



King my Queen

I want a King who can line himself up.

And I’m not talking bout no little haircut.

Sit down and feel it from the bottom to the top. 

Kundalini rising, keep it climbing, don’t stop!

You say you wanna bae me, you say you wanna wife me,

But do you even really know what excites me?

You call me a Queen, and I’m a Queen fa’sho

But are you truly ready to release your ego?

If I get a word for you, how will you deal with it?

Will you be receptive, or will you just dismiss it? 

How can I heal the world without healing my man? 

If you wanna be with me then you gotta understand 

Energy is contagious 

No matter what you think you can’t fake this

If you’re off balance, I’ma feel it from here  

And if you can balance yourself, then I ain’t going nowhere.

Wake up and rise with me. 

Ascend to  greater heights with me.

Pour into my life the way I pour into yours.

I’m Isis Ma’at.  I heal and balance your soul.


I’m human.  Although I do all I can to remain aligned and present across dimensions, there are still times when I feel……. human.

There are times when my feelings get hurt.  Times when I feel betrayed, used, rejected, taken advantage of,  vulnerable, annoyed or flat out angry.  Sometimes, I feel more than one emotion at a time, but I have responsibilities that force me to keep moving due to not being in the appropriate time and place to confront or express the issue.  Living in this matrix we call society causes us to become immune to suppressing our thoughts and feelings.  As we continue to move in our busyness, and ignore what has upset us, we push toxic thoughts and energy down into our being.  Eventually, we become what we are trying to squelch.  
As we pursue our personal growth, it is important to embrace these emotions as opportunities for advancement. When we can recognize not only what we’re feeling, but why we’re feeling it, and dig deeper to expose the root cause of why we feel the way we do, then we are able to transcend beyond our emotions. We are able to ascend.
My method is to withdraw. I go within and listen. I sage myself. I sage my space. I listen to music to target my chakras and remove subconscious fears and blockages. I write. I learn about myself. And sometimes, I discover that what I was upset about, has more to do with me than the other person or circumstance.  Realizing that the offense was not an offense, as much as a misperception, allows me to recognize the thought patterns and mental programs I still need to shed and release. Likewise, when I realize that the offense was actually an offense, and my emotions are valid, it is important to recognize and act on the opportunity to express myself and defend my boundaries.  
Ironically, some people are not worth the hassle of communicating with. Sometimes it’s just better to let sleeping dogs lie and move on without confrontation. However, this kind of moving on, is not the same as moving in obligation to fulfill our physical responsibilities.  Instead,  it is releasing and moving on with an attitude of understanding and clarity.  
When you get annoyed, angry, or upset, STOP. 
Go within.  And listen. …… Before you move.

Love is…..

Love is participation, not possession.  

It actively reflects our flaws through the lens of acceptance, positively motivating us toward self-improvement and personal growth.  

Love is liberating, not containing.

It allows us time and space to expand to our fullest potential as individuals.  Meanwhile, it supports us when our efforts seem to have failed, and encourages us to move forward despite obstacles in our path.  After all, we are not facing them alone, anymore.

Love understands that it cannot exist without contrast.  For then, it could never be cherished.  

Love is the core of your inner most being comfortably fitting the core of someone else’s, and simply appreciating that fact.  
For this reason, love does not expect.   
Rather, love celebrates all that is.

There is no lack, no void, nothing to prove or win.  Love is not calculating, manipulative, or able to play games.  

Love is simple. 

Love just is…

The TRUTH about love, sex, relationships, education and politics- NOT for the sensitive or fragile.